Point of No Return
Saturday, November 8, 2008
freaking irritating. why does cambridge bloody hell want half a freaking week just to hold two MCQ papers?! waste of time. then have to endure 3 extra days of suffering via studying.
i was just thinking of friends..just to pen down my thoughts. or type down rather.
ok i was thinking of one friend in particular.
shan't say who lah of course. a friend is someone who you can share your worries, thoughts, concern, troubles, joys and laughter with right?
this friend of mine..always mood swing. and when i share my worries with this friend, there's like no response.
i mean, nothing is said in return. like no condolences, no assurances, no nothing.
then sometimes this friend just abruptly cuts me off in the middle of what i'm trying to say. like when i'm complaining about something, this friend just doesn't give a damn like that.
so this friend just cuts me off in the middle, but not only that, this friend also changes the whole bloody topic. like he's not listening at all.
then when i complain about someone else (sorry i know i complain a lot but friends do lend a ear still right?), he just tells me "go tell him lah". what a pleasant response lah.
I DON'T WANT TO TELL WHOEVER I'M COMPLAINING ABOUT THAT'S WHY I TELL MY FRIEND RIGHT?
really can't take it lah is this a friend or what? then when he tells me about his relationship problems i will listen and at least respond what..he doesn't even respond la.
some friend man.
eff.
anyway, twin. why you jealous about me liking another person? i mean, we're just "twins".. sorry i didn't about this on the phone that day.
okay remember the time i last told you i liked you? you rejected me, didn't you?
so we remained as friends, ya. no relationship, just friends, since you also agreed.
so the natural thing for me, or any other guy placed in that situation, to do is to move on right?
from my point of view, that was a really stupid thing to do. wasting my effort on a girl that i earnestly felt would not fall for me.
make no mistake, i'm not one who would pester girls for their affection or whatever.. i don't see it as determination, or "not giving up". i simply see it as pestering, irritating.
live and let live, ya?
so i moved on. let go, or at least try to. i guessed it was alright for me to permit myself to fall for other girls, since the one i had fallen for wouldn't fall for me.
and i don't need your permission to like other girls if you don't like me.
so why are you jealous?
and why'd you call me fickle-minded or frivolous that day? okay i don't mean to be thick skin or anything. i'm now merely expressing my thoughts.
someone in your situation would only be jealous if one still likes the other party, right? i mean, from my viewpoint, there's no other reason for it..
so it would mean that you still like me, which is why you are jealous of me liking someone else, right?
excuse me for my supreme and utter lack of intelligence if i'm wrong. if i am mistaken, i'd be really ashamed. if i'm wrong, please do tell me why you really feel jealous.
but if i am, it would explain why you're jealous. cos jealousy only arises cos of possessive feeling right?
ok from what i see, jealously is linked to love, or like. can't think of anything else.
so if you are my friend, then why'd you feel jealous when i like someone else?
see what i mean?
so please help me to clear this fog of confusion. if its anyone that's frivolous, no offense, but i think its you..
so well, after a lengthy deluge of my feelings and muddled emotions, i think i'm not that stressed already.
darn, i don't know. if i'm wrong, twin, forgive me. :|
