Point of No Return
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
well its a LONG LONG LONG time since i last posted. actually, i use this blog only when there are some things that are REALLY troubling me. now is a perfect example.just can't help thinking that we are drifting further apart from our already far apart friendship. and there you are acting like nothing's gone wrong, like everything's perfectly okay. stupid stupid, damn, damn stupid. stupidity personified. i just can't bring myself to ask you what's wrong. probably i'm worried that it'll only worsen the present situation and bring about steepening decadence. everything that's going on between us now is just so hazy. can't see where i am heading with you. i finally see the logic in taking the other path. the one i've been ignoring all the while. its pretty obvious what that is, i'm quite sure.another thing. girls are weird. damn it, you can't tell much from their faces. well not even a little. and they just don't give the good guys a chance. i mean, look at the 'boyfriends' nowadays. its so damn clear that they've had who knows how many ex-gfs before! one thing's for certain, the number isn't small. 2 or 3 at least, i'd say. best scenario's 1 or 2. look at them! i mean, spiked hair, pierced ears, tongues or even noses. caps, skinnies. okay probably i'm judging them solely on outward appearance. but i'm sure they use fucking clean language. what do they see in those posers that they don't see in the nice guys?! probably the essence of FLIRT. love ya now and scream 'bitch' the next.probably they think nice guys are too quiet or shy or whatever. but at least they don't flirt. and they are honest. they don't dress extravagantly. they don't swear excessively. what, do those girls looking that 'man' look in a guy? if so why do those posers wear SKINNIES? i just don't see what they see in those posers and i would'nt want to anyway. i'd rather see what they don't see in the nice guys. i guess the most complicated living and breathing organism on earth would be girls. of singapore, to be more specific. fuck the complexity of it all.ah anyway, you don't seem the same as you did in lower sec. i think you've changed. much. look at the way you sms. short but not necessarily sweet is what i'd say. at least that's what i see in messages sent from you to me. something's wrong but i don't know what. well something's wrong for me; it may be a-okay over at your side. found new ground to tread and trample, i'd surmise. good luck to whoever's next. got toyed with and dumped. now i'm what? your study buddy? an ordinary shithead taking the interloping in your life? some stagnant friednship. bet a whole colony of dengue mosquito larvae would be enough to entirely occupy it. fucking dumb. won't trust many of your type in the time to come. "next week". lets see if you bring it up next week, much less remember it. much less know why i asked you out this week.hope my life will take that long-overdue change soon.
